im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
