we're blogging at a bar
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
