She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize