Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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