Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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