I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
