So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
