Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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