isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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