I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
