Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
