birth control should be required to get into college
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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