You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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