Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I enjoy the company of your penis
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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