Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
