I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
