he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize