11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
