Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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