now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
