Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
