dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
