fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
