i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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