its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
