Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
