that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
