420 ftw
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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