I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
