my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
