She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We are all done wearing pants today
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
