I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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