Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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