Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
