I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we're making bets on your personal life
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
