Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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