You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
