the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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