If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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