Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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