so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
