I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize