I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
