ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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