Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
