i don't like sucking hair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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