this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We were destined to go to rehab together
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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