Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
