I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
