he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
