...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize