you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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