At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
