what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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