Who wears a wallet chain?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
