Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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