i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
