dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
