I faked an abortion last night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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