what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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