We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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