It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
