Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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