those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
