D3 body, D1 cock
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
