Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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