Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
