just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
