If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
