And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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