you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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