she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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