and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't deserve a penis
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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