Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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