from now on my penis is your penis
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
