I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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