dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
