i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
