i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
