I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
