woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
