i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
