you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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