is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
