You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
