I looked at my own cervix.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
