his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
