Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
