The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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